Clackity Clack Clack - The IBM Model M Keyboard

The IBM Model M keyboard is a classic. With real springs and actual metal in it, the kids today wouldn't even recognize it what with their rubbery smoosh-squish typing sounds, but anyone raised on real IBM hardware knows exactly what these feel and sound like. I still have 3 of them but had to mothball them and move to Dell QuietKeys instead. It was that or go back to being single.

You can purchase a refurbished Model M for about $65 at clickykeyboards.com

Handmade Unique Craft Gifts

Etsy is the perfect source for a hand-made artsy craft gift. Much better than wandering your local flea market. You can shop by color, price and a bunch of other options. Just flip through it until you find some $30 thing you think you can give Mom and call it a day. Or you could flip through Martha Stewart magazines for a few hours and apply your finely honed elementary school craft techniques to create your own masterpiece.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid

This A Christmas Story Monopoly game is the perfect addition to your growing Monopoly collection. Dot Com Monopoly, 20th Century Monopoly, American Idol Monopoly, ... When will it end?

USB Pole Dancer

This USB-powered stripper pole dancer performs to the beat of your own music. It comes complete with a memo from HR. Perfect for that guy in the office that sent you horse.mpg. Just don't waste this on the douche that sent you that two girls one cup link. (The same people make a USB-powered Family Guy Stewie action figure.)

Personalized Sharpie

For the Sharpie fanatic, you can now order a personalized Sharpie marker with your own message on it. $12 for 6 of them.

The Hillary Nutcracker

Here's an educational and fun gift: The Hillary Nutcracker. The description says it all: "stainless steel teeth secured inside upper legs". Ouch.

Poo-lar Bear Pooper

This Poo-lar Bear Pooper, $6, dispenses lovely brown candy from it's rear end. I work with someone that has the moose version and it still gives him the giggles after 3 years.

Also comes in Oops-A-Daisy Pooper cow, Oh Deer Pooper reindeer, The Waddling Penguin Pooper, and Baa Humbug Pooper sheep.

Cat-A-Pult

This $5 Cat-A-Pult is the toy they'll be playing with long after they sort out the upscaling on their new $3200 DLP television. This exactly the sort of gift I'll get from my crazy Aunt Maggie.

Deathtrap!

These are perfect for when your car goes all Christine on you... Or as a gift for your older relatives -- the ones who read the true life "Trapped in an Underwater Car" stories in every other month's Reader's Digest and obsess about them.

The $13 Swiss+Tech BodyGard is the latest of keychain car escape gadget. It has the usual glass breaker and seatbelt cutter but it adds a flashlight and an emergency siren and flasher.


The $9 ResQMe Keychain just has the basic glass breaker and seatbelt cutter, but it also doesn't have any batteries to go dead. Some people recommend attaching one to an easy to reach spot inside the car rather than your keys.

The $14 Life Hammer is the original tool in this category. It attaches securely inside your car so it'll always be there.

Scanners

No geek should be without a decent radio scanner. The new Uniden BC-246T ($230) does most of what anyone would need, including listening to non-digital trunking systems. Now when the helicopters are orbiting your neighborhood, you'll be able to find out why. A little more basic (cheaper) models include a neat combination clock-radio-scanner that receives AM/FM and TV broadcast audio besides working as a scanner.

Clueless Car Gift

Nothing says "I have no clue what to get you" like a gift for someone's car. But if you're gonna go the car gift route, these $15 tire-pressure-checking caps are a great way to go. It's exactly the sort of thing I'll get my uncle in a few years when he's allowed to drive again.

Slingshot Flying Screaming Monkey

I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but by popular demand and a time shortage, here it is. The Slingshot Flying Monkey complete with screaming sound. I actually got one of these last year from my crazy Aunt Maggie but my wife fed it to the garbage disposal after my 8 year old boy shot her with it one too many times. We'll miss you, screaming flying ninja monkey...

Knives

The $24 Victorinox Midnite Manager is perfect for a keychain. It starts with tiny screwdrivers, scissors, a nail file, a bottle opener and a knife blade and adds a pen and an LED flashlight. I carry one and it's done everything from slicing cardboard boxes to fixing a headlight on a Model T Ford.


A little bigger option is the $100 Spyderco Caly 3. It's a very well made utility knife and one of the most popular recent knives from Spyderco. It's big enough to cut almost everything that needs cutting but small enough to carry almost anywhere except an airplane.


Finally, the new $35 Leatherman Knifeless Fuse tool is loaded with everything except a knife blade, which makes it perfect for the frequent flying gadget lover.

Secure Digital (SD) Cards

Secure Digital (SD) cards are the clear winner in the memory card war. They're in everything now, from cameras to cell phones to MP3 players to game consoles like the Wii to GPS units to digital photo frames. That makes them a great gift for anyone with gadgets. The SD Plus line from SanDisk has a built-in USB connector so they won't have to scramble to find a card reader. It folds up and out pops a little protuberance that just plugs right into a USB port.



Or you could opt for one like this micro SD card that comes with adapters covers all three of the standard SD card sizes, from small to tiny to near invisible. They're so tiny you might as well run it through the washing machine before you give it to them.

Flashlights all around!

One year I gave every member of my wife's family a flashlight. Cheap $1 ones from the impulse buy end cap at Sears. It was pretty much an afterthought and they were so cheaply built that I had about 30% of them fail before I even gave them. Even years later I'm remembered for giving all those flashlights. They forgot the $20-30 gifts, but they remember the $1 flashlights.

Today's LED flashlights are amazing. No burned out bulbs, longer battery life, and often they're brighter than the older non-LED lights.

There are plenty of $10-20 cheapies available in almost any store you go into. At $20-40 and available everywhere, the new LED Mag Lites, whether the little AA version or the big 4D cell version, are great gifts.

But for a lot of flashlight geeks like me, a Fenix light with a Cree LED is the next step. For about $50 , you can get a tiny pocket light that can be as bright as a massive D cell Mag Lite. My personal favorite is the Fenix L1D which runs from a single AA battery. The Fenix L0D takes a single AAA battery and makes a great keychain light. The Fenix P1D runs from CR123A lithium battery which can get expensive, but it's the brightest and highest-end of the single-cell Fenix lights.

Battery Caddy

Personal Battery Caddy. These are so cool they glow. They're battery carriers meant for pilots to safely carry spare batteries for all their gadgets from radios to GPS units, but every geek I know needs one or more. They'll keep all your batteries together. They protect the terminals from shorting out, which is good if you carry rechargeable batteries that can put out enough current to melt metal. I love the glow-in-the-dark models. $5 to $15.

Crayola Crayon Pen

Perfect for the Michael Scott 40 year old boy boss! This comes in several colors but writes in regular blue ink. Unfortunately you only get one color for $14, not the whole pack. Or you could just give them a box of crayons. Who doesn't love crayons?

Magazines

A magazine subscription always makes a good gift as long as you know a little bit about the person. There are hundreds of choices, but two that really stand out are MAKE and CRAFT.

MAKE is relatively new and great for any serious geek, especially someone into electronics, taking stuff apart, building stuff, etc.

CRAFT is the yang to MAKE's yin. It's perfect for anyone even slightly geeky that knits or sews or watches Martha Stewart.

No I Will Not Fix Your Computer Shirt

A must-have before you go home for the holidays!